When you have a negative or low self-esteem, you are not satisfied with one or more aspects of yourself. You feel insecure. This goes beyond small insecurities, like everyone else has. There can be multiple sources that feed negative self-image. For one it gets away with dissatisfaction with appearance, for the other it is more about personality or intelligence. A negative self-image usually relates to a combination of subjects. Whatever the source, it actually always leads to a feeling of inferiority towards others.
Unfortunately, there are many people who say they suffer from a negative self-image. A negative self-image goes hand in hand with a collection of persistent beliefs about yourself. The thought that you are less fun, interesting, handsome, talented, or capable than someone else can make you feel sad, gloomy, and anxious. For example, it can lead to you avoiding contacts for fear of being rejected. It can make you lonely. It can lead to you always sacrificing yourself for the sake of the other. It can also have consequences for your career if you perform at a lower level than you actually could. Often you also have a lot of trouble receiving criticism.
Not everyone deals with a negative self-image in the same way. One surrenders to the belief that he is worth less. In that case, inferiority is always in the foreground and is always very tangible. You behave in a way that corresponds to your feelings, for example by always stating aloud how much you fall short. Or by seeing every negative comment as confirmation that you are worth less. Another will avoid dealing with the feeling of inferiority, for example by shutting himself off from the feeling, or by avoiding activities or situations that additionally evoke this feeling. Another is going to overcompensate. With overcompensation, you act as if that inferior feeling you have is not true at all. For example, you pretend to be very confident, which can turn into arrogance and hurting or criticizing others. Shielding from uncertainty or vulnerability and denying shortcomings is also known as narcissistic defences.
Self-esteem is largely formed in childhood. When you did not get the feeling that you are good the way you are while growing up, this often leads to a negative self-image. Parents are not always able to give their child enough love, attention, and confirmation; for example, they are demanding and dismissive or they pay little attention to the child. Traumatic experiences such as bullying, or abuse can also have a major and long-lasting effect on self-image. The child draws conclusions from this about his or her self-esteem, which often persist into adulthood. A negative self-image is not hereditary; people are never born with this.
A negative self-image can seriously hinder your functioning. If you notice that you are always adapting to others, you are constantly avoiding things, you are constantly beating yourself up or regularly knocking others into the ground, it can be good to talk to a psychologist or coach.
With your care provider you can, for example, investigate where that uncertainty actually comes from. You can critically examine your negative beliefs and test whether those beliefs are actually correct in your daily life. There are several ways to address a negative self-image in therapy. It is often also related to other complaints that arise from the negative self-image and how strongly they are in the foreground. Decide together with your psychologist or coach what suits you.
Treatment methods that are commonly used for negative self-esteem are: Competitive Memory Training (COMET), cognitieve
gedragstherapie, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), schematherapie en Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).